How Mental Health Hypebeasts Got Me On a Therapist Couch.
Aubrey “Drake” Graham once said the lyric “thoughts too deep to go work them out with a therapist.”
…I must admit that might be the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.
To some people, I’m the funny guy who has the quick, witty and inappropriate commentary. The father/uncle/brother figure to another group of folks. Even could be seen as the guy who has been on the right path to getting this life thing together. In truth, I am much more than all those things.
I recently finished an audio book that has given me more insight on my own mental state called Delivered from Distraction by Edward M. Hallowell M.D. and John J. Ratey M.D., the second part following “Driven To Distraction” (and I ainʼt read that), which is a book that explains to someone diagnosed with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) how to use their condition to their benefit.
Now you know I have ADD, which I was not diagnosed with until adulthood (maybe 4–5 months ago). Unlike some people, I was never one to seriously diagnose myself with anything (ADD, OCD, depression, anxiety, etc.) but I can’t even say I was surprised when I was suggested by my therapist to research ADD and then diagnosed by a psychiatrist because I always knew my mind worked differently than most people I knew. I can say I felt I could get better, because I finally started getting some answers to the questions I had my whole life.
I’m not going to go down the long road of discovering my diagnosis and how I’ve been coping with it, not today at least.
I am here to just express the importance of taking care of your mental health. I know its the bandwagon everyone is getting on right now but I must say, this is a trend that I’m happy is catching on because it was the spark of my journey. So from deciding to start seeing a therapist 8 months ago and recently seeing a psychiatrist as well, doing my research and readings, and just learning to open up to people, my life has improved for the better.
When I speak on improvement, itʼs not necessarily something that is tangible. It isn’t monetary, nor is it shown in my physical appearance, not directly at least. The improvement is within. I’ve gained clarity on how my mind and emotions work, which gives me tools to monitor and learn from my own behavior, resulting in me better understanding who I am as a person.
I truly encourage everyone to go to therapy. If you need some help, here is the process I took. Even if the process may be different for you, I hope you can take some great things from what I learned along the way.
Realized the parts of myself that I could not reach, (without help):
While living this adulting life, I would see patterns in my behavior that I’ve been “dealing with” my entire life and I realized they were causing more harm than good on my wellbeing. Remembering I have a lot more life to live, I came to the conclusion that if these patterns continue without clarity, it could make my life harder and shorter.
2. Evaluated my environment:
I looked at my parents, family, and friends: Looking at where these behaviors rooted from and how people may treat me based off their perception of me. I noticed a lot of my behavioral traits connected to those that my father displayed my entire life. Seeing this allowed me to understand the reason him and I had a wedge between us. He himself has his own demons to fight, so going to him for advice was pretty much out of the question.(I still tried but did not get far).
3. Decided what type of therapist I wanted and RESEARCHED:
Once I noticed the connection between my behavior and my family, I looked into a therapist who specialized in anything along the lines of family, childhood trauma, and/or PTSD. I also was for certain that I wanted a Black woman as my therapist. The main reason this was important is, like most heterosexual Black men, I haven’t fully embraced how to be intimate or vulnerable with other men. Black women, especially my mother and my older sister, have always been the ones who would keep it real with me and allow me space to be a little more open. I felt that comfort would be there with my therapist if she was what I’m used to (and I was right in my theory). I then checked websites like psychologytoday.com (okay, this is the only website I looked into lol but feel free to look into others or apps like “Talkspace”).
4. Checked my insurance and the cost:
Websites may say a health professional takes your insurance. Honestly, a health professional may say they take your insurance, but either way, you should always check with your insurance provider. I found my therapist’s name on the list of covered professionals so I was good to go.
5. Made the call:
This is last but honestly the most important step I took. I called my therapist, through a FREE phone consultation, we discussed what I needed and what I was looking for. She agreed to add me as a patient and I’ve been seeing her twice a month since February and the rest is history in the making.
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Mental health is easy to overlook because sometimes, itʼs hard to physically see. We all have pains and troubles, some bigger than others. However you go about it, I encourage everyone to seek the assistance of a health professional to figure out how that mind of yours works. It might be the decision to save your life.
Love.
